Fallen soldier lived, loved military ways

Whenever Tommy Vitagliano flashed one of his "mischievous, contagious smiles," longtime friend Andrew Kratz instantly knew a lighthearted prank was sure to follow.

But even if Vitagliano played a joke on Kratz — many of which he contends were too wild and risky to mention without getting in trouble with their alma mater, Hargrave Military Academy — Kratz could never remain mad for long.

"He’s kind of a loose cannon in regards that he liked to have a good time," said Kratz, chuckling to himself at the memories. "You just couldn’t stay mad at him for long."

Eighteen years of fond recollections flooded back to Kratz Thursday, just two days after Vitagliano’s sister called him to say his "best friend" and military compatriot was killed Monday while serving in Ar Ramadi, Iraq.

While Vitagliano’s family is in seclusion, his fiancee, Nerina Giolli, described her feelings Thursday through a family spokesman.

"Tommy is my best friend and I knew from when we first met that we would be together forever," Giolli said.

"We had so many plans, and now he will be treasured in my heart always."

Vitagliano, 33, an Army staff sergeant who grew up in Orange and West Haven before residing in New Haven, died when a car bomb detonated near his position, according to the U.S. Department of Defense.

Vitagliano served in the 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Infantry Division at Camp Casey, South Korea.

"Just the idea that we’d live a little closer geographically (one day) and share our lives together, his family with my family," said an emotional Kratz, pausing to clear his throat. "To know that won’t happen is difficult to swallow."

Though he deeply grieves the loss of his friend, Kratz said he and several of Vitagliano’s closest buddies, including their other best friend from Hargrave, "Stevie T.," plan to get together Jan. 29 at Kratz’s Virginia home to celebrate Vitagliano’s life in true, off-duty military fashion.

"We’ll eat steaks, drink tequila, smoke cigars and talk about Tom," said Kratz.

It was clear to Kratz when Vitagliano arrived at Hargrave for his junior year in 1987 and tacked a large U.S.

Marines Corps flag on the barracks wall that the two "were cut from the same material."

"That tipped us that he wasn’t just one of those kids sent here because they were doing poorly."

Instead, Vitagliano’s shared love for military life attracted him to Kratz and other like-minded students, who soaked up all they could from Hargrave, including joining the school’s color guard.
Even after they graduated in 1989 and Vitagliano went to North Georgia College and State University, Kratz said they stayed in close contact.

But the military, and impending war in the Persian Gulf, was too much of a draw, Kratz said, for Vitagliano to sit still at college. By May 1990, Vitagliano dropped out and enlisted in the Marine Corps, with "Stevie T." and Kratz to follow.

Kratz and Vitagliano held mini-reunions at their military training camp in Camp Lejeune, N.C., when they’d return from their separate deployments.

"It was a really fun time," he laughed, adding that they would often head down to Myrtle Beach, S.C., where they’d "reminisce, tell stories, tell lies or whatever" during such encounters.

They would also venture back to Hargrave alumni reunions, where Kratz now works as the director of student activities and adventures.

Kratz recalled one sleepless night in 1994 when Vitagliano’s platoon held a crazy going-away party on Onslow Beach, N.C., when his four years of active duty ended.

"I had this big, what we call a force march, (that started) at 3 a.m. after the party where I had to hike 20 miles with all this gear. I was trying so hard to stay awake."

While the duo had some good times, Kratz said he’s always been proud of Vitagliano’s ability to achieve the military goals he set for himself, including being selected for the prestigious Marine 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion.

Vitagliano specialized in amphibious reconnaissance, Kratz noted.

After his Marine duty ended, Kratz said Vitagliano briefly held a job making "cold calls" for American Express.

It didn’t come as a shock for Kratz when Vitagliano quit civilian life and enlisted in the Army about 1995.

"In peacetime, he’s a good guy and in war times, he’s the kind of guy you want next to you," Kratz said.

Vitagliano’s gentler side was also remembered this week at Turkey Hill School in Orange, where his niece, Molly Ronan, attends third grade.

In December, the students donated treats to Vitagliano’s unit, which sent the class letters. Vitagliano also sent the class his own thank-you-note, saying he’d visit them when he returned from Iraq.

Marissa Yaremich
New Haven Register
January 21, 2005